I use to be in love...............

I use to be in love…….

I mean the kind of love that inspires me on a daily basis. Inspiration in life is when I know I’m with the right one. The first time I was in love I was inspired in so many ways I end up not spending time with the one I love, but I did manage to buy flowers for her on a bi-weekly basis. For no reason other than I thought about her and want to see her smile that big and beautiful smile when I came through the door. You know the kind of smile I’m talking about, the kind where you see all those pearly whites, a kool-aid smile I call it. I was also inspired in photography, she was my muse the one I see through my lens even if she was not there.
We met at work, first time I saw her I said hmmmmmmmm, interesting. A petite Jamaican girl, with attitude, I wanted to get to know her. I did, it was a slow process and well worth the wait. I remembered the spontaneous great sex we had, she remembered the weekends alone watching movies. That loved I looked for again, but could not reach it. I tried came very close and then it fell all apart. Maybe it was me, maybe it was her, and maybe we just rushed it a bit and fell off track.
I wanted the love and got it, but not the inspiration, the inspiration of life, of imagination of sex. Yes sex, to be in love and have boring sex did not enhance my inspirations. We made sweet long love, and spontaneous sex, anytime anyplace. But that kind of love will be years away from achieving. The trust, admiration and appeal for one another is hard to find these days amongst the shattered pieces of broken hearts on the ground. So many sharp and dangerous pieces that everyone has to watch their step, even men.
We men do hurt, some wear it on themselves and others hold it in their heads and hearts. I have cried for my love, I have cried with my love, but will this change anything? If we want each other to be around, in our beds, but not in our hearts how can we grow? I want to grow, to grow out of the emptiness of the mind and heart. I want to fill my head with her, that special someone. I want to fill my heart with her love, her tenderness. I want to fill my mind with her touch, her kisses, her hugs, her voice, her laughter, her body, her ecstasy, her orgasms.
To grow out the emptiness of life and fill it with love that is all I want in life. Because with love it brings me inspiration, and with inspiration I can achieve anything I want!